FATED Read online

  I shrugged my shoulders at her, not verbally replying because all I could concentrate on now was the doorway that Brent had just disappeared into. I sat sipping my root beer, wondering if the elusive Alex was already here and changing into his kit. I felt my interest notch up a level at the thought of the man naked.

  Eleven

  The whole rug

  by ground had obviously been well designed. The stands were well sheltered, with comfortable, covered over seating in three out of the four. Someone had clearly spent a lot of money on it that was for certain.

  It was just as well, the weather was the sort of cold that penetrated every layer you wore. I had to admit I was so looking forward to watching the match. I hadn’t really been to many games since JJ had died and I acknowledged that maybe it was about time to move on and embrace the game we had always loved together.

  The game got off to a slow start. Bella was screaming her head off next to me, much to the amusement of Nathan, who didn’t seem to be watching the game much. Instead all his interest was on us, well mostly Bella. It always amazed me how men found it so amusing that we actually knew what we were talking about, in the mostly male dominated sport.

  My eyes were on the game though, constantly trying to search out which of the second row Alex could possibly be. It was starting to be a very full on game and the play switched quickly from end to end. One of the forwards stood out to me though and my eyes were constantly pulled back towards the number five. He had to be the broadest one out there and was quite obviously the captain. I kept hearing his extremely deep voice shouting orders and encouragement. He always seemed to get himself into just the right place at the right time.

  I was enjoying myself, but all too soon the game was drawing to a close. In the last few minutes of the second half, number five was hanging on the wing, just waiting for a pass. Once it came he took off, hogging the touch line, it was amazing to watch as this physically huge bloke barrelled his way through the opposition and sprinted towards the try line. He then turned to place the ball directly under the posts with one hand.

  I was up and out of my seat, jumping and clapping. It wasn’t the winning try as Alex’s team lost the game. But in my mind I would replay it time and time again. My core tightened with the unexpected lust I felt for the number five. I watched his team clap him on the back and smiled.

  Nathan had two fingers in his mouth, whistling an ear piercing shrill of a whistle. He punched his left arm into the air and shouted, ‘Yes, way to go Bro.’

  My stomach flipped itself over. Oh God, my hand moved involuntarily up to my open mouth.

  So number five was Alex? I could feel Bella just staring at me; I sure as hell wasn’t going to reward her by looking at her. I knew she would have on a shit eating grin, which quite simply I was refusing to look at.

  The teams made their way to the edge of the pitch. Alex’s team clapped the winners off. I still couldn’t see him properly, because although he was one of the taller guys out there he was wearing a head guard. Oh well, I resigned myself to waiting until they had cleaned themselves up and found their way into the bar area.

  It was so very welcome, walking back into the clubhouse. My face was bright red from the cold wind and had stung slightly as the warm air hit it. I unwound my scarf and removed my coat. I found myself making my way back to our original semi-circular seat and flopped down with a sigh. I glanced around, Bella was up at the bar ordering some drinks and a couple of the famed steak and kidney pies as the fresh air had made us ravenous.

  A smile spread over my lips, she was openly flirting with the barman whilst ordering. Nathan on the other hand had his back to her, as he chatted with some other blokes who had also watched the game. He lifted the bottle up and down from his lips and every now and again shot a quick look at her, pursing his lips tighter together. If he kept on like this there wouldn’t be any room in between them to actually drink the beer.

  Jeez I needed a wee, quickly I shot a look around the bar area, just searching for the door I badly needed. I was fairly sure that I was a windblown mess. Old rugby shirt was one thing, a knotted mess of straw for hair was quite another. I saw the sign on the wall to the right hand side of the bar and made my way towards it, clasping my handbag as though it contained the crown jewels.

  After a quick wee, I took a look at my reflection. Small amount of makeup was intact, check. My cheeks were flushed by the wind, but it gave me a healthy glow I surmised. A couple of brushes though my hair had it looking relatively good and not screaming “wild thing” anymore. I was good to go.

  The bar area had certainly filled up with people by the time I made my way out of the ladies. I couldn’t see our seating area. As I started to make my way towards the general vicinity, saying a very repetitive, ‘excuse me please,’ there was a strong smell in the air, of nicely cleaned men and the wonderful smell of quite expensive deodorants, shower gels etc.

  I could just see the top of Bella’s head now, her blonde hair moving to and fro. She was laughing, I recognised the head movement. I was a few steps away from finally reaching the table. Standing in front of it was a very tall, large, dark haired man. It had to be Alex. I felt excited and a little apprehensive all at the same time. I felt my pulse quicken, and a further rush of blood flowed to not only my face, but other parts of me as well.

  His back was broad and very muscular, and although it was contained in a very tightly stretched, dark green, button-down shirt, you could see almost every line and contour of the muscles in his back, as his hands were obviously crossed in front of his chest. I had unwittingly slowed down to take in the sight. All I wanted to do was run my hands up his shoulder blades and press my nose to his spine.

  ‘Here she is,’ I heard Nathan speak.

  I lifted my gaze up to meet Alex, in order to be introduced properly.

  The very nice back slowly started to disappear from view as Alex almost hesitantly turned around to face me. I couldn’t keep my head up for too long and started to take in the glorious site that was Alex. Old worn black jeans, that fitted him in all the right places, and the tucked in shirt, which stretched equally well across the very well defined abs. I slowly started to look up towards his face almost jumping up one shirt button at a time, in time with the beat of my heart. He must have uncrossed his arms now as they moved away from his chest and fell to his sides, his huge fists clenched. On his little finger I could see the large titanium ring, which I had spotted before. His well defined Adams apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, was he nervous as well?

  My tongue flicked out to wet my lips. Seriously what was wrong with me? It was like I wanted to eat him. I stifled the nervous giggle that wanted to leave my mouth.

  I was pleased to note he had a couple of days of scruff on his face and a glorious cleft in his chin; finally I made it to his eyes, desperately hoping I hadn’t taken as long with my appraisal as I felt I must have.

  I stared straight into the most gorgeous emerald green eyes and there stood in front of me, staring right back at me was... Jabby.

  The hairs on my neck stood to attention, almost painfully.

  Twelve

  ‘SERIOUSLY, wh

  at the FUCK?... Jabby?’

  Physically I felt myself take a step back. I wasn’t sure if it was from shock, or just a built in need to get away from the situation that was now presenting itself, right before my eyes.

  I shot a look in Bella’s direction, just in time to see the happy look she had been wearing slide off. To be replaced by one of sheer dismay.

  Ok, so she was as shocked as me then.

  Nathan on the other hand, was sporting a cocky grin and was leaning back into the comfortable seating area, arms folded across his chest. ‘BINGO... I knew there was a bigger story to this, Alex? And I was correct. I would introduce you but it’s quite obvious you two have met before.’
r />   I held up my hand to Nathan, gesticulating for him stop.

  ‘Shut the fuck up! Nathan, you know nothing... nothing at all. Why the hell couldn’t you just leave this alone?’ I heard Jabby shouting.

  I couldn’t listen to any more of the fucked up, so called conversation, and I proceeded with my usual flight response. Rushing from the bar at the quickest pace I could manage, I didn’t even stop for my coat, and managed to bump into several people, in my haste to escape.

  Oh my God, as soon as I hit the outside it was very evident I had made a huge mistake. The time had moved on and outside was slightly darker and very much colder. I wrapped my arms around myself, almost instinctively hugging. Just striving to keep the little bit of warmth I had left inside my body. Lifting my head I looked up at the clear evening sky, trying to use its sense of calm to help my panic stricken mind.

  ‘Frankie,’ came from behind me; it came from the only voice I had heard in my dreams these past few months.

  My head was very gingerly shaking from side to side.

  ‘I don’t know what to say to you.’ I could still hear him, but I wasn’t going to trust myself to turn around.

  ‘Please, I need to know how you are feeling,’ he continued.

  Listening to his voice, it was easy to tell he was probably only a couple of feet away. His breathing was deep and calm, probably trying to control his anxiety.

  ‘We need to talk,’ his tone suddenly changed, from the concerned one almost pleading with me, to complete authority.

  ‘Turn around... Frankie.’

  I spun around with as much gusto as I could manage in my shocked state.

  ‘Who the hell, do you think you are?’ What gives you the right... to order me around?’

  I wasn’t going to stop, to let him actually answer any of the questions I was asking of him. I needed him to know and see exactly how this had made me feel.

  ‘I don’t understand... what the hell is going on?’

  ‘How can I possibly be in your employ?’

  My arm had now lifted and with every question I was happily stabbing my finger into the middle of his chest.

  Why the hell was I even touching him? I didn’t have a frigging clue, but only knew that with each stab on his chest, each connection between us, I found myself calming down slightly. I gritted my teeth and felt my forehead pull into a tight-lined frown; I forced my arms to my sides. I refused to let myself touch this... I had no bloody idea what this was?

  My cousin’s executioner?

  My erotic fantasy?

  My employer?

  My control freak?

  Swallowing deeply, I encouraged the bile that was rising to go back down. Maybe I should throw up all over his boots, Christ knows he deserved it.

  ‘I don’t know how to explain all this to you, Frankie,’ he stood with his arms open and palms pointing upwards. His body language was trying to encourage me to believe that he was being open and honest.

  ‘WELL. TRY. AT. THE. BLOODY. BEGINNING!!!!!’ My voice was so loud and I almost didn’t recognise it as mine.

  ‘Right OK I will, but you have to hear me out.’

  ‘I don’t have to DO ANYTHING.’

  Jabby/Alex took hold of my elbow and started to lead me back towards the clubhouse. I shook myself out of his hold and felt instantly emptier at the loss of his touch. It was times like this that I completely and utterly hated my traitorous body. These times always seemed to be because of him.

  ‘OK I won’t touch you, but we need to be somewhere warmer to have this conversation, before you start to go into shock. So do us both a favour and follow me... please.’

  The please seemed to come as an afterthought, so control freak probably wasn’t far wrong. Reluctantly I fell into step behind him, making my gaze settle nowhere other than the back of his head, several times it had tried to linger on his very squeezable backside encased in his jeans.

  Bella was waiting for me just inside the door. With her was, it had to be said, a very mortified looking Nathan, who ran both of his hands through his hair over and over again.

  ‘We are going in here to talk; I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come in and allowed no one else to either.’

  He had to be bloody joking? Right?

  ‘Who the hell do you think you are?... Bella is coming in with me and looking at Nathan’s face I think he needs to hear what the hell you’ve got to say, too.’

  ‘Fine!’ he forced the word out. He kicked open the wooden door with such strength and anger it banged on the inside wall causing the pictures inside the room to vibrate.

  ‘Sit down everyone, please be my guest,’ the sarcasm just rolled off his tongue.

  Good, I had finally started to get to him.

  We all entered a small office/reception area and the door closed behind us. Bella, Nathan and I took seats. I sat down on my hands as the compulsion to fidget with them was becoming all consuming. I gazed around the room, which was masculine in colour. The large furniture dominated the space, almost overwhelmingly.

  I watched Alex walk slowly over to the bottles on a silver tray, he even moved like a God. I pinched the underneath of my thighs, reminding myself exactly what I was doing here. It certainly wasn’t to check out the local talent.

  ‘Drink?’ Alex questioned us all. Obviously his good upbringing bringing out his politeness, even in this fucked up situation.

  ‘Yes I’ll have a fucking drink,’ a very unsteady Nathan made his way over to the tray and proceeded to nearly fill a glass.

  ‘I can only start by saying how sorry I am that you found out this way, Frankie.’ Alex shot Nathan a seething look of derision.

  ‘I can only hope you will except my apology, and believe the sincerity behind it.’ Alex moved and sat himself on the edge of the desk facing us. He ran his hand slowly through his hair; and expelled a loud sigh. His long jean-clad legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles.

  I had to stop myself from laughing. The resemblance of the mannerisms between the two brothers was comical. He paused placing his thumb in the deep cleft of his chin and the rest of his fingers curled up in a fist underneath, he was quite obviously thinking.

  Remembering what I was doing here in the first place, I shot back, ‘Are you sorry I found out this way, or sorry I found out at all?’

  Alex closed his eyes and breathed deeply. When he reopened them I could see the amber flecks had widened.

  Oh, so I was making him angry was I?

  ‘I cannot tell you how many times I have run through my head the best way to tell you what was going on here,’ he waved his arms around, ‘but where to start?’

  ‘How about at the bloody beginning, arsehole!’ I was shouting again and really needed to get a grip on my overflowing emotions.

  ‘You told me the day of the enquiry, if I ever needed anything from you to contact the liaison officer.’ I was up on my feet now and seriously pissed off, taking slow punctuated steps towards him.

  ‘Did I ever contact the Liaison officer?... No. I. Fucking. Didn’t.... I don’t need anything from you that’s why!’ My right hand flicked up quickly like I was swatting a nuisance bug, and slapped his face so hard I thought I would cry out from the pain it left behind.

  The room was silent and Alex’s eyes were downcast. I clutched my right wrist, squeezing to alleviate some of the pain and heat it now held.

  I was sure that Bella and Nathan were still behind me, but I couldn’t hear anything and I wasn’t turning to check.

  Keeping my eyes firmly on Alex’s face I watched as he slowly returned my stare.

  ‘No I understand that... but the trouble is I needed something from you,’ his voice was calm and steady, it didn’t match the bright red mark from my hand slowly seeping its colour through th
e scruff on his face.

  He continued, ‘My brother needed a damn good physio... he needed the best I could find and my investigations always came back to you.’

  I was stood now with my arms crossed in front of me, shaking my head from side to side. I slowly turned to make my way out of this suddenly extremely claustrophobic room. Bella stood to accompany me. I placed my hand on the door handle and started to turn it, immediately appreciating the cold brass on my sore palm.

  Just then I heard in that deep resonating voice I loved, ‘But most of all…’ He inhaled a deep breath, ‘I needed your forgiveness.’

  The door handle squeaked as I continued to turn it. I lifted my other palm and placed it onto the wood in front of me. I pressed my forehead to it and closed my eyes.

  This deeply embittered person was not the person I wanted to be. God knows I had witnessed enough of this, in my own so called family. I had always refused to become like them. Releasing the door knob I let it turn back to its original position and pushed the door shut, with a click.

  ‘Gorgeous girl?’ I felt Bella’s hand lightly resting on my shoulder; she spun me round and gave me a hug. ‘OK?’

  I nodded to her and she sat back down, only this time next to Nathan. I watched her pick up his empty hand.

  ‘I think perhaps Nathan and I will go back to the bar, and we’ll wait there, is that OK... Frankie?’

  I nodded my head slowly in agreement.

  As they moved towards the door, Bella stopped suddenly and spun around, glaring at Alex, ‘You need to sort this bloody mess out, and fast. I don’t know what fucking game you’re playing, but if you take on Frankie, you take on me too.’

  They moved out of the door, Bella studying my face as she left. Just checking again, that it was OK to leave.